Tennessee Should Hire Me as Their Next Football Coach
I don't know the words to "Rocky Top" but we can work on that
The University of Tennessee has fired yet another head football coach. This has become a theme for Volunteer football.
Since the legendary coach and current Athletic Director Phillip Fulmer retired after the 2008 season, the Vols have gone through an astounding six head coaches:
Lane Kiffin, fresh off a disastrous run as coach of the Oakland Raiders, had one 7-6 season in 2009 before bolting to USC. Kiffin is now back in the SEC at Ole Miss after flaming out of USC, a career rehabilitation stint at Alabama, and at Florida Atlantic.
Derek Dooley followed him with a less than stellar 15-21 over three seasons.
Jim Chaney was undefeated as interim coach following Dooley’s dismissal, with a 1-0 record.
Butch Jones had three winning seasons and three bowl wins from 2013-2017. But he got cashiered anyway, to be replaced by….
…former Michigan coach Brady Hoke, who lost both of his games as interim coach.
Jeremy Pruitt was the most recent coach and he was fired after another recruiting scandal.
Kevin Steele, who most recently was the Auburn interim coach 18 days ago is now listed as the interim head coach for the Vols.
Tennessee has struggled with head coaching hires for an entire decade and I think at this point they need to look outside the box and hire an unorthodox candidate.
You may be thinking to yourself “Brian, you’re a podcaster and writer and producer you don’t have any experience coaching football.” And you’re mostly right.
My coaching experience:
Winning two national championships as head coach of Florida Atlantic on EA’s NCAA Football 12.
A double-overtime loss leading the Anne Arundel Young Republicans against the Anne Arundel Young Democrats in a 2011 flag football game.
So yeah, not a lot of experience. But the expectations for Tennessee coach seem to be so darn low these days that I should be able to clear that bar.
So if that’s the bar, I can clear it. And here’s my plan to do it:
My first assistant head coach and my first offensive, defensive, and special teams coordinators will have no experience in those roles: So many coordinators just keep moving up the food chain from job to job doing the same thing that they’ve been doing because it’s worked. Just because something has worked somewhere else doesn’t mean it’s the best way to do things. New coordinators with no experience will be able to come up with new concepts and new ideas on how to play the game.
I will hire no assistants with SEC Experience: That seems counterintuitive but hear me out. Other than Alabama, how many teams have had consistent success over the last ten years? Not many. How many teams have been able to consistently compete with and against Alabama? None at all. New eyes. New ideas.
I will hire as many assistants as possible from lower levels: Again, let’s bring people from outside of the FBS bubble to reinvigorate football.
I’ll schedule Memphis: Tennessee hasn’t played Memphis since 2010. There’s no reason for that.
Zero Tolerance for B.S.: Unfortunately there has been a lot of scandal around the Vols program for some time now. I would never tolerate that nonsense. If an assistant goes awry of the rules, they’ll be fired as soon as I find out about it. If a recruit asks for improper benefits, we won’t take them. There’s no benefit in competing with Alabama if you can’t compete fairly.
I will institute an exotic defense to combat Alabama: Because why wouldn’t you?
I’ll work for cheap: Every coach in the SEC makes north of $3 million. I’d take the job for a lot less than that.
It’s a simple plan to be sure. But one that would work and make Tennessee competitive again.
If the Vols are interested, I’m available.