The OCHO: Week 16
Let’s do this… extra quick this week because I gotta go have surgery.
Surprise thing number one: So is David… err… Davis Mills the best rookie quarterback?
Yesterday, the Texans stunned the Chargers in Houston with a blowout win powered by their surprising rookie QB. With 5 QBs taken in the top 15 picks, literally everyone expected the top rookie signal caller this season to be one of Trever Lawrence (not even close), Zach Wilson (lol), Trey Lance (currently in a gap year), Justin Fields (showing promise, but nothing great yet), and Mac Jones (probably Mills best competition). The consensus was that Jones was the best until the last few weeks when some problems emerged. First, the Patriots won an entire game without him, which is a bad sign. Then, he started throwing a lot of interceptions when called upon. Meanwhile, Mills has quietly emerged as a solid choice. The rookie who saw his Stanford career damaged by both injuries and the pandemic, was actually one of the top recruits coming out of high school, so there is a lot more pedigree than you might realize. Second, he has very little to work with (especially compared to Jones). Finally, he has gotten dramatically better with experience, something we cannot say for Jones. This is officially up for debate with the season winding down.
Expected thing number one: The WTF sucks.
For the third time this season, the WTF spilled sewage all over place. Unlike the last two times when it was actual sewage on their own fans at home, this time they spilled it on the field in Dallas with their play. Meanwhile, on their specially designed heated seats they had delivered to Dallas (quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever seen since this is a dome), things got ACTUALLY heated between teammates. This shit doesn’t matter, teammates fight all time. The problem is that the WTF sucks, and, as usual, this starts at the top with the worst ownership in football. Get this guy out of here. Until he is gone, this is what WTF fans can continue to expect.
Surprising thing number two: Your lead in fantasy football just disappeared. Or you just shocked everybody.
Speaking of how much the WTF sucks, an awful lot of people play fantasy football, and an awful lot of people were feeling really good headed into last night’s game. While the WTF defense has been pretty bad all year, pretty much nobody saw that coming. The Cowboys set the world on fire, and if you were lucky enough to start a Cowboy or their defense, you probably came out of nowhere to either win your championship or get there. Congratulations. To those of you wondering how your team squandered their huge lead I give you Dan Snyder without any photoshopping.
Expected thing two: A team won the game between the Jets and Jaguars
Rather than form an expected singularity and destroying the universe, a team actually won the Jets and Jaguars game on Sunday. Of course it was the Jets, who, despite missing half their team with COVID and definitely benefitting more from a loss, managed to hang on and ruin their draft pick a little more. The above tweet is a picture from last year, but I think it perfectly sums up this year just as well. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to be Jets fans.
Surprising thing three: John Harbaugh being childish.
Losing is a bummer. The Ravens have had a really frustrating year with injuries and COVID and were dealt another overwhelming loss to the Bengals this weeks where the Bengals decided late in the game, with things seemingly wrapped up, to call a pass play down the field. John Harbaugh was upset and let Zac Taylor know about it during the “handshake” after the game. Of course, this comes mere weeks after the Ravens called a run instead of kneeling out the game versus the Broncos to keep a rather pointless team rushing record going. Look, you either do what you want at the end of games or you don’t. Pick a lane. I am sure John was just feeling frustrated and probably regrets this already, but c’mon man. I like you as a coach. Don’t be this guy.
Expected thing three: Tom Brady does not like losing.
Despite the Father himself (me, Father Keanu), finding this picture to be sacrilege (there is only one true fake father), I must admit, Tom just knows winning. After throwing a mighty tantrum last week after losing to his own daddy, the New Orleans Saints, Tom took his anger out on the hapless Panthers with a convincing win. Tom never stays down long, and this payback was doled out on the backs of last weeks OCHO visitor Matt Rhule. For his part, Rhule managed to go a week without blaming his QB (probably because he has tried all of them and blamed all of them already at this point). He did, however, manage to compare himself to Jay-Z for some reason.
Jay could not be reached for comment, so I will be offended for him.
Surprise thing four: The Bears won the Coach Firing Bowl of 2021.
In a shock twist, the Bears came flying back from a huge deficit yesterday behind everyone’s favorite backup Nick Foles to win the final Coach Firing Bowl of 2021. It looks like the Seahawks will have to move forward without Pete Carroll. Don’t worry, the Bears will probably fire their coach too. This game, to me, is proof of something I have railed against since the offseason with the Bears. Why did they mess up their defense, just so they could add Andy Dalton? Nick Foles is just as good as Dalton, and he showed it. It’s not a surprise. They already had a mediocre backup on the roster, there was no reason to add one. The Bears are a joke, and the Seahawks just lost to that joke. Woof. Goodbye Russell Wilson.
Expected thing four: The Colts are for real
Ever year the Colts are good at football. I had questions early in the year when they faced a litany of injuries and got off to a slow start. Namely, my concern was, would they have enough time to catch back up and get in the playoffs. Thanks to the gutsy return of Carson Wentz and Quenton Nelson, and the stellar play of Jonathan Taylor, the answer is yes. They gutted out a tough win in Arizona and are now in position to make the playoffs. Their tough style and physical ground game could prove an immense challenge for teams in the cold winter games they are likely to play in. They are going to be a real threat to win a playoff game then lose in the division round like they always do.