Welcome to another week of The Runback. Have you been enjoying The Duckpin? Do you have comments or suggestions? Do you want to write for us? Let me know at theduckpin@gmail.com. And please be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. Thanks in advance.
2022 Candidate Information
We have launched a one-stop shop for candidate information for the 2022 Election. Bookmark this page, as it will be updated through the 2022 Election. This includes our first round of candidate surveys, which include Travis Lerold for Delegate, Paul Lubell for Central Committee, and more.
News and Politics
Trump States The Obvious: Why is Trump's Greatest Accomplishment viewed by his supporters with such disdain?
An Unconstitutional Mess: There is no chance the Legislative Districts proposed by the Maryland Legislative Redistricting Commission will pass Constitutional Muster.
Sports
The OCHO: Week 15: Take a look at our newest column about the NFL. Take a look for it every Monday.
Most Meaningful Matchups – Now Until December 30th: This week we’re previewing the second wave of bowl games, still relatively minor but getting more fun leading up to New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day when the major bowls and Playoffs commence.
Crisis in Quidditch: LARPers playing an invented sport are trying to outwoke every other sport on the planet.
The Monday Thought
With 2022 heading our way, I figured I would take a semi-satirical, semi-serious look into the future to see what is coming our way. With that, let’s take a look
January 2022
6th: Donald Trump holds a press conference at Mar-a-Lago where he announces that he will not be running for President in 2024; at the same time in Washington, 300 or so deadenders assemble in Washington to “commemorate” the “political prisoners” from the previous year’s riot and coup attempt at the Capitol. Dan Cox is one of the featured speakers.
12th: The Maryland General Assembly begins it’s 2022 Session and immediately does no work for the next sixty days.
18th: The Mid-Atlantic receives its first major snowstorm since 2016.
19th: With Maryland campaign finance returns due, Dan Cox has less money on hand than Robin Ficker.
29th: Omos wins the Men’s Royal Rumble match, getting a collective groan from WWE fans.
February 2022
4th: The Chinese Government attempts to gloss over its horrific human rights record during the Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Olympics. Not a single member of the NBC Broadcast Team mentions the Uighur genocide going on there right now.
6th: In an effort to save money and avoid COVID protocols, the NFL replaces the Pro Bowl with a broadcast of a Madden Simulation. Nobody notices.
13th: The Ravens win Super Bowl LVI in Los Angeles with a thrilling 29-28 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Ravens win the game when John Harbaugh elects to go for two at the end of the game and it works.
March 2022:
1st: Major League Baseball and the Major League Baseball Players Association finally end the Lockout, resulting in the rescheduling of the first week of the season.
14th: The Maryland General Assembly finally starts seriously looking at the state budget.
15th: The Ides Of March goes uncommemorated.
25th: At a Maryland Day celebration in St. Mary’s City, everybody looks at each other confused as to what song they are supposed to be singing.
April 2022
4th: The Maryland General Assembly wakes up and realize they need to start passing the Budget; Gonzaga finally wins the big one by winning the National Championship with a blowout win against Baylor.
8th: The Orioles win the first game of the delayed season when Adley Rutschman hits two home runs against Tampa Bay.
11th: Democrats in the General Assembly pass hundreds of pieces of legislation in the hours leading up to Sine Die, most of which are unread by the people voting in support of them.
24th: Emmanuel Marcon defeats Marine Le Pen to win a second term as President of France.
May 2022
10th: In a Republican gubernatorial debate, Dan Cox accuses Robin Ficker of being a Yeti.
17th: In a media poll in the Maryland Democratic gubernatorial primary, undecided leads the field with 69% of the vote, with all nine of the actual candidates within the margin of error of existing.
26th: After calling a snap election, Boris Johnson’s Conservatives win increase their parliamentary majority.
June 2022:
1st: The Baltimore Banner news site launches, with an editorial page consisting of nothing but current and former Democratic politicians and operatives.
28th: Commerce Secretary Kelly Schulz rolls to a massive win in the Republican gubernatorial primary, with 74% of the vote. Shockingly, Robin Ficker finishes second with 15% of the vote. Dan Cox finishes with only 8%.
30th: On the last day of the Supreme Court session, Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey is overturned.
July 2022:
1st: Dan Cox files suit against the Maryland Board of Elections, claiming that the Republican primary was stolen from him thanks to the Chinese Government, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderbergers, the Stonecutters, and Elon Musk.
18th: Adley Rutschman wins the All Star Game Home Run Derby.
19th: The Maryland Democratic Gubernatorial primary finally has a winner, with Wes Moore defeating Peter Franchot by five votes after the final caucus. Both candidates wind up with a measly 18% of the vote in the most divided gubernatorial primary ever.
20th: The Tawes Clam Bake returns to its regularly July slot; to prove that nature is healing, the temperature in Crisfield that day is 107 degrees.
27th: The Ravens report to training camp, with every single veteran enclosed in bubble wrap.
August 2022:
1st: Citing the close primary election and Wes Moore’s inexperience, Peter Franchot launches a write-in campaign for Governor.
8th: ESPN finally shows wiffle ball on “The Ocho” Day.
15th: In a slow hurricane season, the first major hurricane of 2022 hits the east coast of the U.S.
30th: The Ravens sign every defensive back available to their practice squad.
September 2022:
2nd: Mike Lindell announces that he is running for President, with Dan Cox as his running mate.
3rd: Wes Moore accidentally calls the House of Delegates the “House of Representatives” during a press availability event.
18th: Yellowstone finally wins an Emmy for Best Drama.
October 2022
9th: The Orioles clinch a Wild-Card spot on the last day of the season.
November 2022:
8th: Kelly Schulz cruises to a victory as the next Governor of Maryland with 55% of the vote; Peter Franchot finishes second as a write-in candidate with 27% of the vote, with Wes Moore only receiving 16%.
16th: Adley Rutschman is named 2022 American League Rookie of the Year.
December 2022:
1st: Fresh off his re-election, Ron DeSantis becomes the first major Republican to announce his candidacy for President.
9th: Citing a desire to serve and change the direction of national politics, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan announces his bid for President.
Here’s to a great 2022 for you and yours!
Oh your exgov against ours, Hogan vs Desantis.Who will win?