The AFC East
In a very rare treat
It will be closer than normal,
But the Pats still win
The Patriots
Tom Brady is gone now
And Cam Newton has arrived….
So who wears the Uggs?
The Bills
The Defense is great
And so is the head coaching,
But Josh Allen isn’t
The Dolphins
The Tank for Tua
Worked to total perfection.
So now can they win?
The Jets
Adam Gase is not good
At connecting with players.
They will keep Jetsing.
AFC Central
“These teams are all good,
But one will be the greatest,”
So quoth the Ravens.
The Ravens
Lamar Jackson’s back,
And they added key pieces.
What’s not to like here?
The Steelers
Big Ben’s getting old.
No replacement is in sight.
They start to slip down.
The Browns
They butchered Baker.
Now they must rebuild him or
They’ll still be the Browns.
The Bengals
They cannot be worse,
And they added some pieces.
But they kept the coach.
AFC North
These teams are boring,
And I don’t really care now.
Yet Haiku I must.
The Colts
Their Luck ran out fast
And now they ride the Rivers.
But he is washed.
The Titans
They paid the QB,
But he isn’t that good still.
Mediocrity.
The Texans
Their coach is insane.
He will do anything now
To save his job here.
The Jaguars
Forever they stink.
Jason must feel very sad.
Trade everyone.
AFC West
Oh the firepower here
That is on display for us.
It will be so fun.
The Chiefs
The super bowl winner
Shows us no signs of stopping.
Mahomes MVP.
The Chargers
Beware of their D.
It is one of the very best.
Playoff surprise team.
The Raiders
They’re off to Vegas.
Not much changes here though because
Gruden seems quite lost.
The Broncos
Their QB was good,
But I don’t think it will last.
Back to the middle.
NFC East
Jerry keeps on spending.
The Giants and Eagles meh.
That’s everyone right?
The Cowboys
Eventually money
Should lead to some more wins right?
But no defense so…
The Eagles
The line’s getting worse;
Carson doesn’t get better.
Where is this going?
The Giants
Gettleman is bad
His guidance unforgiving
Daniel Jones is a bust.
The Washingtons
Their team is a joke
And their owner is awful
Rivera is doomed
NFC Central
These four are good teams,
And all of them could win here.
Except the Bears, duh.
The Packers
Rodgers is angry;
Expect a comeback season.
This team is just good
The Vikings
Kirk is the ceiling
They simply cannot get past.
How do you like that?
The Lions
Stafford is sneaky.
He’s much better than you think.
The coach is a dud.
The Bears
What can I say here?
This is a total lost cause.
GM and coach gone.
The NFC South
Tom Brady arrives
To a face-off with Drew Brees.
Which one is Nic Cage?
The Saints
Drew Brees did an oops
Forgot to play politics
What else can go wrong?
The Bucs
Growkowski arrives
And the defense is still good
I forgot something?
The Panthers
The rebuild is on.
Woof, this team will be so bad.
Thursday Night Football
The Falcons
Since Shanahan left
Things just keep getting worse here.
Matty's ice melting.
NFC West
These teams are all good
And the coaching outstanding.
Someone’s got to lose.
The Seahawks
Russell will hustle,
And the defense gets better.
This team will threaten.
The 49ers
Super Bowl hangover
Mediocre Quarterback
Are we sure this lasts?
The Cardinals
A great draft for D
And the offense got better.
They are on the rise.
The Rams
Unplanned Spending
A quarterback they’re stuck with.
Their window is closed.
Hard disagree on Jimmy G as mediocre QB...but this season will tell the tale.